So I Went Undercover

Apparently I Needed a Pseudonym

Tiny Tim

BlogFestivus 2013: The Big Swindler

5 Comments

happy-blogfestivus-2013

 

We’ve tweaked.  We’ve warped.  We’ve written.  We’ve worked.  We’ve twerked.  (Okay, I’ve twerked, but no one saw it and I certainly didn’t instagram it, so there is no proof.  It’s your word against mine.)  Whatever else we’ve done, we have done it all in the spirit of BlogFestivus.  Sadly, this is the final installment in a series that outlines specific characters in the Dickens classic A Christmas Carol.

*****

Bob Cratchit always hated Scrooge.  He didn’t hate him for the reasons that everyone else does.  Bob hated Scrooge because in a previous– less self-centered– life Scrooge gave Bob his second technical foul and ejected him from the championship basketball game.  Back in that day, Bob had an afro (thanks to a perm and a pick).  Scrooge didn’t recognize Bob the day he hired him.  But Bob remembered.  Memory like an elephant.

Tim was Bob’s youngest.  Tim was also Bob’s pawn.  With orders to “be as pathetic as your momma’s orgasms,” Tim was sent into the street with a poorly-hewn crutch and a limp that switched feet every other day.  Most days, Tim came back with nothing.  Most days, Scrooge came into the office smelling faintly of dog shit.

On Christmas eve, Tim just didn’t feel like gimping over to Scrooge’s to leave a bag of flaming poop on the doorstep.  Christmas Day, Scrooge was a different man.

That night, Scrooge invited himself over for dinner at the Cratchits.  Bob had changed that night as well, for when Tim finally declared “God bless us, every one!” it was an exclamation of praise.  Finally, Tim was allowed to play kickball again.

Tiny Tim

*****

Find out what made Tim tiny, or gimpy, or pathetic in these other possible scenarios:

Linda penning at linda vernon humor
Tom over at Shouts from the Abyss
Steve from Stevil
Maria-Christina blogging at MCWhispers
Dylan of Treatment of Visions
Sarah from Parent Your Business
Dawn blogging at Lingering  Visions
K8edid from k8edid
Dave bringing it at 1pointperspective
Eileen from Not The Sword But The Pen
Lindsey at RewindRevise
Kandy of Kandy Talk
Sandra writing at In Love With Words
Jen at Blog It or Lose It
Amelie from In the Barberry
Cee Cee blogging at Cee Cee’s Blog
Ashley from LittleWonder2
BD writing Blogdramedy

Author: UndercoverL

In order to protect myself and my right to tell the truth about certain people who bother the living schnizzle out of me, I choose to go by a clever pseudonym. You can also call me Natalie. It's not my name, but I wish it were.

5 thoughts on “BlogFestivus 2013: The Big Swindler

  1. Flaming poop and orgasms. This is my kind of Christmas twist! Thanks for participating in BlogFestivus. As always, you’ve left me laughing.

    Happy Christmas!
    BD

  2. That family needs to be on Maury.

  3. Loved the inventive tale–poor Timmy, he can’t remember which side his limp is on. How tragic. Nice work! :-)

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