Kindness: Is It So Hard?

February 20, 2013 by UndercoverL | 29 Comments

Yesterday was my birthday.  I have grown to hate my birthday over the years, so it was sort of an “impending doom” kind of day.  (I will cover why my birthdays suck in my WTF Friday segment.)  But something happened yesterday that really made me smile (pretty much the best birthday present I got, other than Princess Red Chief waking up at her normal ungodly hour of the morning feeling all better).

I have a friend whose birthday is 5 days before mine.  We met when when we were in kindergarten together and we were BFF’s right away.  We would often have joint birthday parties.  When we were old enough to connive, we realized that our parents planned our parties together so they could save money.  So as not to miss out on extra fun, we insisted that we have separate parties.  Now, we would have more fun and more cake!  (We were masters of deception.)  When we were 12 years old, her parents moved hundreds of miles away.  We saw each other only three or four more times.  She went her way, I went mine, and our paths seemed (in my mind) to have diverged forever.

Then came Facebook.  This is, perhaps, the only time Facebook has ever contributed something good to my life.  I found her again!  We kept in touch via FB for about a year.  Then I made the cardinal mistake of talking to her about an MLM I was doing at the time (judge away, but I don’t do MLM anymore, so you’re safe.  I won’t ask you to join a downline or engage in Multi-Level Misery), and we lost contact for nearly two years.  I don’t blame her for running away.  I feel bad about even approaching her with it.

Hoping I hadn’t forever ruined another relationship, I sent her an ecard for her birthday.  Yesterday morning, I got a response from her.  Here is what she said:

L, Beautiful L…

Thank you so much for your Birthday wishes!! I received your card while I was away in Spain meeting my boyfriend’s family.. It was especially awesome because I was feeling really nostalgic for my friends, being so far away from all that was familiar at the time, in a foreign country where I had no fluency.

I still remember our birthday parties together… I miss all of our mischief. : )

How is your life, and family, and conditions in general??  I hope your day is filled with light and love and music!!  I’d love to see your lovely face soon.

Big hugs and kisses!

Happy Birthday dear friend.

Love,

J

I was touched to the point of tears.  I haven’t seen J in 17 years.  Our lives differ almost as much as two lives can.  But I know, in my heart, that J is a true friend.  I know that I could turn to her in dire need and she would give me the shirt off her back.  It’s a faith I have as deeply rooted in me as my faith in God.  It’s a comfort.  Such kindness from such a long-lost friend was exactly what I needed for my birthday.

I began to think about the kindness she showed by writing this email to me.  Whether she was sincere or not (I believe she was, but I know some people would not be so sincere), it was truly the thought that counted.  She took time out of her busy life to write me a note of encouragement and love on my birthday.  I wondered why people do not do this more.  I received a far less touching birthday greeting from my brother and my sister, who only wrote to me after my parents reminded them that they have a little sister.  What is it that makes us avoid taking a few minutes or seconds to show people that we care?  J couldn’t have known just how upsetting my birthdays are to me because we don’t speak on a regular basis, but she gave me the best present I could have received right then.  Whose life would you touch just by telling them that you care?  Would it take too much effort?  Would it take too much time?  Who can you heal and who can you help just by sending an email or text right now?  I would challenge you to go out and do it.  Go on.  Do it.

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Photo Credits: Diverging Paths, Present

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