It is with humility (and some regret) that I say this: I was endowed with an immense capacity for recollection. I wouldn’t go so far as to say that I have an astoundingly or abnormally great capacity to remember things, but I think I have more than my fair share. Well, perhaps I ought to qualify that just a smidge more. I have a talent for remembering things that are absolutely useless in real life. If I could exchange one memory for another, here is what I would swap…
1) I would give up: Words to songs; especially if I hate the song. (“Suit & Tie” is the very bane of my existence.)
For: Mathematical formulas and calculations. If I knew a few more of these, I would probably have a real job by now, rather than ‘just being a SAHM.’
2) I would give up: The names of every woman my father has been accused of having an affair with. (A bunch of innocent people.)
For: The name of the child I am meant to be yelling at. (A bunch of innocent people.)
3) I would give up: Knowing the price of every single gift my sister has given me (she ‘accidentally’ leaves the tags on).
For: Remembering to balance my checkbook before another charge goes through.
Photo courtesy of zazzle.com.
4) I would give up: Knowing that the average black ant lives 12 years.
For: Knowing how to keep a plant alive.
Photo courtesy of wikipedia.org.
5) I would give up: Knowing how much a gallon of milk cost three months ago.
For: Knowing what the hell a fiscal cliff is.
Photo courtesy of cbs.com.
6) I would give up: Knowing how illegal immigrants often use the same social security number by alternating last names in order to get tax refunds they don’t exactly deserve from the IRS.
For: Remembering how to make a task list and stick to it until it is done.
Photo courtesy of focusyoursteps.com
7) I would give up: Remembering my phone number from when I was 5 years old.
For: Remembering my current phone number.
Photo courtesy of zazzle.com
8) I would give up: Remembering how my best friend totally ditched me when I was a junior in high school.
For: Remembering how to make friends.
Photo courtesy of lolbrary.com
9) I would give up: Remembering the last time I had a migraine.
For: Remembering the last time I shaved my legs.
Photo courtesy of fanpop.com (No, not me. These aren’t my legs.)
10) I would give up: Remembering the last time I had onion rings (ever seen the movie The Bridemaids?)
For: Remembering what it’s like to eat out without kids.
When I put in “romantic dinner with kids” nothing came up. Huh. Wonder why… Photo courtesy of wellnessmama.com
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January 30, 2013 at 8:43 AM
Love it!!! I recall words to songs of years ago….and then forget my own son’s birthdate. Twice. (but only by a day…ugh)
January 30, 2013 at 9:59 AM
LOL. I could totally see myself doing that. Thank heaven for Google calendar, which bugs me until I address birthdays. I fear family harmony can be credited to Google calendar. Yes, I am a horrid mother.
Blame forgetting his birthday on him. If he hadn’t stolen a portion of your mind simply by him being here, you might have remembered. Or even better: if he hadn’t been born there wouldn’t be a birthday to forget. (Is that too harsh?)
January 30, 2013 at 4:47 PM
January 30, 2013 at 6:23 PM
Good point!
January 29, 2013 at 3:46 PM
Very funny post! The joys of getting older truly don’t end, and I blame it for everything, especially the one about the phone number. =)
January 29, 2013 at 3:49 PM
Sometimes you just have to call a spade a spade, right? Blame it on age… or on having children… sometimes on both at the same time.
January 29, 2013 at 2:59 PM
I cannot tell you how many times I have discussed my capacity for remembering useless and non-lucrative info. Song lyrics (Love Boat theme, anyone?) are up there. We are so connected, man.
January 29, 2013 at 3:21 PM
Shoot, Love Boat was big when I was in diapers and I still remember the theme song. (I only remember watching it once when I was 4 years old and suffering with chicken pox.) Now that business is messed up! Ah well, we are on the boat together: “Come aboard! We’re expecting you!” (You’re breaking out into song, I know it. And thanks to you, it will be in my head for the rest of the day.) O_o
January 29, 2013 at 1:17 PM
Great list!! I just called the dog by our son’s name last night, and our son doesn’t even live here anymore. LOL on shaving the legs. I asked my husband if the song “Suit and Tie” was growing on him yet. He was non-responsive.
January 29, 2013 at 1:43 PM
Non-responsive as in no admission of guilt? I am pretty sure my husband is a closeted Swifty.
January 29, 2013 at 1:52 PM
Oh, my husband sings the back-up girl singer’s parts when music is on. I’m sure he is all into Timberlake’s Suit and Tie!
January 29, 2013 at 2:40 PM
I can safely say that if my husband had a suit & tie (other than the one he wears to work every day), then we would know what dinner without children is like. Perhaps JT is onto something with this whole suit & tie business.
Regarding your husband’s hidden skills: secretly record and vlog it? Please?
January 29, 2013 at 2:44 PM
Maybe one day.
January 29, 2013 at 1:03 PM
Well, for the last one, think of what you have to look forward to when they’re older!
January 29, 2013 at 1:09 PM
Shoot, Guapamole! If I don’t get out with my husband soon, we may forget how to date altogether! By the time the kids are grown, we’ll just end up pouring each other shots and falling asleep at 6:30 PM while watching Spartacus: The Search for Botox. My kids ruined my life! (Not really. LOL)