I was being chased down the street by an ambulance. It seemed to be a typical after-school commute home. This day was different.
As the ambulance neared me, I deftly pulled to the right lane in order to clear the lane for easy passage. I didn’t see the possum in the road until it was too late. I hit it. It was already dead; victim of another driver. I just managed to squash the part of the animal that was still three-dimensional.
I hate possums. They are like huge, stinky, devilish rats. They remind me of those rat thingies in the movie The Princess Bride. You know… these?
Well, I couldn’t shake the repulsion in my heart. It was like the time I accidentally stepped on a huge cat spider with my Nike Pumps and then threw my shoes in the trash because I couldn’t wear them without thinking of the spider guts that were a mere inch from my actual fleshy foot. I want to sell my car now.
That may make me a total lunatic… but I just may be the lunatic you’re looking for.
Is there anything that repulses you this much?
January 21, 2013 at 8:27 PM
Haha! possums are weird. Maybe it was just playing dead when you ran over it. Well that’ll teach it. I will generally throw away anything that has poop on it though.
(I don’t mind spiders at all. I swat them with my bare hands to kill the. I’ve noticed this is the second time I’ve mentioned this since I’ve been on WordPress. I guess I must derive a lot of self esteem from that fact! HA! 
January 22, 2013 at 12:23 PM
If that possum was playing dead, it was really good at making itself look dead… bloody smear, flattened torso and the whole nine yards. LOL
Get self-esteem from whatever works for you. I get a tremendous amount of self-esteem from telling my son that I don’t care how many times he tells me he hates me, one day he’ll understand. I also get it from telling my children that I am their mother, not their friend.
January 23, 2013 at 8:07 AM
Ah those are two excellent ways of getting self-esteem Undercover! That reminds me of when my son was about seven and I told him he couldn’t do something and he stormed off and came back a few minutes later and handed me a note upon which he had written three little words:
I hat you.
Oh what fun kids can be!
January 23, 2013 at 9:07 AM
LOL. I got one from my five year old the other day that said: “Yoo mad me krie” and it was a picture of him, curly hair and all, with heart-shaped tear drops streaming down his face. I told him not to write me any more hate mail. The next one said “Sere I wuz bad. I no yoo love me.”
January 23, 2013 at 10:36 AM
LOL!! Ah! I’m love with that little guy! (Heart shaped tear drops!! ) What a sweetheart! And for five he spalz betr than I dew! And curly hair too? Oh I bet you are enjoying him sooo much!! What a little character!
January 23, 2013 at 10:51 AM
He iz quit da spelr. He remembrd dat yoo put de e on de end ov da werd to mak de vowl long. (i.e. krie.)
January 25, 2013 at 10:35 AM
LOL! His spelling makes more sense than the ours!
January 25, 2013 at 12:31 PM
I am having a hell of a time teaching him about the “gh” combination. (It says “f,” it also makes the vowel turn long, and it’s mostly just to screw with your ability to read.)
January 26, 2013 at 8:20 AM
Ha! English Oy! That reminds me of a wonderful scene in one of the I Love Lucy episodes where Ricky is reading a story:
January 21, 2013 at 6:54 AM
I stood on a slug with my bare foot once. It wasn’t pleasant.
January 21, 2013 at 7:20 AM
Eeeew!
January 21, 2013 at 7:26 AM
I know. And I couldn’t bin my foot.
January 21, 2013 at 8:47 AM
There wouldn’t be enough Clorox in the world to rid me of that feeling! This would be the one instance in which I would insist on an abusively rough pedicure to file off the first four layers of skin on my foot.
January 21, 2013 at 10:19 AM
Haha, that would be awful. You wouldn’t be able to walk for a week.
Luckily we don’t have big spiders where I stay.
January 21, 2013 at 10:54 AM
I’ve been forced to address my arachnophobia living here. I am almost to the point where spiders don’t make me blanch and turn into a crying, nervous wreck. I can kill them now, but I still refuse to step on them– I prefer to use a broom.
January 21, 2013 at 1:48 PM
you should get one of those bug killers that electrocute them. They look like a tennis racket and it’s pretty quick to kill them. Although, you do smell the burning :/
January 21, 2013 at 2:21 PM
Ugh.
January 20, 2013 at 10:24 PM
You made me laugh! We had two big dogs, and I can’t tell you how many times I came in the house and realized (right away) that I stepped in dog doo doo that was under leaves. I hated having to go out to the hose and clean the shoes off. Then I had to scrub them with soap and hot water. I think I’d do that for an icky spider, too. My car smelled like skunk for a while after I ran over a mashed, dead one on the road. That stuff grosses me out, but I do tend to cope with it.
January 21, 2013 at 7:20 AM
I just avoid thinking about it…
January 19, 2013 at 8:00 PM
Oh this made me laugh…I read it to hubby and he laughed. I have thrown away many a shoes for squishing of critters! Do it. Sell that car. Sorry for your icky day…but thanks for the giggle.
paula
January 19, 2013 at 8:43 PM
I revel in your cohorting justification. Thank you!
January 19, 2013 at 9:03 PM